Jan 31, 2009

How To Win Back Lost Love

If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

Jan 30, 2009

How To Stop My Divorce

First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, how can I stop my divorce? you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You’ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.

This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.

If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce. Chances are that you’ve done this, more than once. But the way you say it can make a difference.

It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest marital counseling. Explain, “I want to stop my divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready to make them better.

Jan 29, 2009

How Get Your Ex Back – What To Do When Shes Dumped You

How get your ex back? This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped. Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off? Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends. This article is about how to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you. Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia. It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one. If you don’t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you. Girls can be fickle. They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did. If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at ho get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you. Many guys call their ex’s numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalkerish behavior. This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up. Move on. Date other girls – especially girls in her circle. By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the many she first fell in love with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front. But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off. For instance, are you still working out as often as you did? Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship? These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds. If you are going to go to a party where you know she’s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you. If she has a favorite cologne, wear it. And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past. Don’t beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events. If a group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to come along. Begin seeing her in social settings once again. When she comes along, pay some attention to her, but spend your time with your friends and other girls too. When she sees that you are an attractive catch, you’ve already won half the battle of how get your ex back.

So, that is how get your ex back.

Jan 28, 2009

Heartbroken Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

If you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re probably wondering, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” at least several times a day. Every relationship is different, so every break up is different. But there are some things you can do to help get him back.

Be nice.

That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less.

The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake.

If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend.

If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.

You can’t change the past, but do remember that later when you’re back together. Point it out to him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.

Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship. You’re part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy.

But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually don’t work. Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

Heartbroken Poem To Help You Heal

If you’ve ever been through a sad break-up with someone you’ve love, you may have written a heartbroken poem. You may have even written such a poem for things like the loss of a pet or a family member, sadness at moving away from your friends, or any number of sad life events. But it seems nothing inspires such sad poetry as a break-up or divorce. Just as few things inspire love poetry quite like being in a happy, loving relationship.

Poetry is an excellent medium for self-expression. Unless you’re writing poetry with the hope of having it published one day, you can write poetry however you like. It doesn’t have to be good poetry. You don’t have to understand any of the poetic terms or conventions like rhyme, meter or free verse. You don’t even have to have ever read a really good poem in your life to write a heartbroken poem that can help you feel better and maybe help you heal from the pain of a break-up.

An important early step in getting over a break-up or any sad situation is simply facing the pain. While it might feel better to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation, you can’t really move past it without facing it and feeling the pain, at least for a while. So facing up to whatever painful situation is happening is necessary. A heartbroken poem can help you deal with those painful feelings when you’ve split with someone you love.

Don’t worry about whether it’s good or not. No one else ever has to read your heartbroken poem. It’s for you and you alone. Just write down your feelings, as hard as that may be. You can write in plain language. Don’t try to imitate the poets of the 17th and 18th century. Write like you talk, and break the lines where it feels natural to you. In fact, you can start by writing one huge paragraph filled with all your feelings and everything you want to express, just to get it out. Then you can go back and arrange your thoughts and feelings into a poem.

Once you’ve written a heartbroken poem, you might want to write more about different parts of the pain. That’s good. Get down everything you can, and that will help you to face the pain. Writing the poetry will probably be a very emotional time for you. Don’t try to stop it. Just let the pain out and you’ll be better able to move on.

If you decide you want to share your heartbroken poem, you can show family or friends. Or if you want to share it but not with anyone you know, you can put it online. There are websites designed just for such things. You can upload your poetry for free and let other people know if you want to receive criticism or not. You might opt to not receive comments on your heartbroken poem and just enjoy the fact that you’ve shared your experience.

Jan 27, 2009

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back in Five Steps

If you really want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, there are a number of steps that you can follow to have more success than if you just wing it and hope for the best. Breakups happen, but they do not necessarily have to be forever. Here are five steps that will allow you to subtlety let your ex girlfriend know that you're still interested in being a fixture in her life, so that you can potentially rekindle things in the right away.

5 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, start by reaching out and touching her. Playing too hard to get is not the best way to approach this, though communication should be scaled back. Reach out to her and let her know subtlety that you are still interested in being a part of her life.

4 - Drop her an e-mail to keep in touch. If you do not find casual, easy going methods of communication with your ex, you will never be able to get her back. Staying in touch is absolutely vital, but keep it to casual messages like "Hey, what's up?" rather than overwhelming her inbox with love poetry.

3 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, stay away from other girls. Sure, she may be understanding enough to let it slide if you begin to peruse other "prospects", but if you want to get your girlfriend back, stay away from other ladies.

2 - Remember the important things. Part of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back means treating your girl like a princess. One of the easiest ways to do this is to show her that you care by remembering the most important anniversaries and dates in her life. Send her a card on her birthday, and let her know you're thinking about her in a harmless and positive way.

1 - Call and text, but use discretion when reaching out to her. You should not be afraid to send your ex girlfriend a text message, or drop her a line here and there. Uncertainty is something that should be avoided in life and love, so call her up and let her know what's going on so that she knows where you are and what you're doing, and doesn't have to imagine that you're out having fun without her, or with another woman. Let her know you care, and that you still think about her. If she knows she's still in your thoughts so frequently, it will contribute heavily to how quickly she will want to rekindle things with you.

There is no exact process or science to the process of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back, but there are some pretty clear cut suggestions out there that will steer you in the right direction. Obviously maintaining contact and communication is absolutely vital to the rekindling process, but do not over do it, otherwise you may scare her away.

Get Your Partner To Agree To Relationship Counseling

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true. But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true. Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

Jan 26, 2009

How to Get Over Guy – The Steps for Moving On

Are you having trouble get over guy? Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult. There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else. Yet, people do get over a relationship. Here are five steps to get over guy you still like.

First, you need to let out the hurt. Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over guy. Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.

One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend. Talk about the good times and bad. Talk about the relationship and how he hurt you. Let it all out. When you have finished the letter, burn it. That’s right. Don’t even think about sending it to your ex. Instead, let flames consume the letter. That provides excellent closure to the relationship.

Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over. If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship. A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the other’s. Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in. And, if there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away. Clear your place of all of his things. It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time. Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever. If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time. Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up. Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up. You used to spend a lot of time with your ex. Use this time productively to get over guy. Go to the gym and get your body in shape. Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on. Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.

Moving on is the best way to get over guy.

Get Guy Back After a Breakup

It can be a difficult time after a man breaks up with you. You probably don't feel or even act like yourself at this point. Life almost seems like it has lost its meaning with him in it. Maybe you want to get guy back.

Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out. They just wanted it to end. It's usually easier to work out a relationship while you're still in it; as opposed to when it has ended.

With that being said, you can get guy back if he broke up with you. The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want. Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones. Don't want him back just to have him back. Make sure that there are very good reasons why you want him back.

The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Some people can make up and move on. Others, they just can't recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared. Even if you don't succeed you will know you did your best to get guy back.

If you want to get guy back, you must, and there is no room for negotiation on this, get your emotions in check. Guys do not want to be with women who can't keep their emotions under control. If you attempt to contact him while you don't have control of your emotions you may do even more damage. For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you're an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.

The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he's doing, or feel sad that you don't have him, is to start living your own life. You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup. Keep up with your daily routines. Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Hang out with your friends.

If you're staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back. If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you'll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.

When he does, just keep it brief. Tell him how busy you've been. Don't get mushy or gush out feelings for him. Act indifferent and aloof. This will confuse him. If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best. Don't let him touch you or kiss you. Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that's it. This will drive him crazy. From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily. Just take it slow.

As you can see, you can get guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control. Life your life to the fullest. Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best. Back off, give him space. He'll most likely contact you and want to see you again. When he does, be a little bit of a tease. Make him work for your affections again.

Jan 25, 2009

Get Guy Back – A Gals Guide to Making Up

How do you get guy back? How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special? This is your “get guy back” gal’s guide to making up.

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!

Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

If you’re wondering, “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the breakup probably wasn’t so devastating that you think the relationship can’t be saved. You’ll have to hope she feels the same way. If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now’s the time to say you’re sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side?

Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.

If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to honestly express how you feel. Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.

A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful? Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back. Every positive thing stacks up, making it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.

If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now. Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry. Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?

If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?

The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance. Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.

If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really impress her.

One other thing my friend, the points made above, are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.

Jan 24, 2009

Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

I Lost Love – Every Relationship Has a Time Line

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.

Jan 23, 2009

How to Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend

If you are wondering how you can get back with your ex girlfriend, the first thing that you need to understand is that this is a very delicate situation. Your feelings may be hurt, and her feelings may also be hurt - And it is important that you are careful about what you're doing accordingly, otherwise feelings may be hurt even worse.

Here are the considerations that you need to make when it comes to figuring out how to get back with your ex girlfriend.

1 - First and foremost, what was it that you did in order to cause the break up? Girls do not break up with guys completely out of the blue, so there is probably a really good reason behind the action even if you are not immediately aware of what it is. The first step in this process has to be to figure out what went wrong, whether or not it could have been prevented, and how can you can fix it now that you know what it is.

2 - If the break up with your ex girlfriend was entirely your fault, then the first thing that you need to do to help rekindle things is to let your ex girlfriend know that you recognize what happened, you recognize that it was your fault, and that you are sorry for your actions and the unintended consequences.

3 - You should continue to socialize with other people, even though you are trying to court your ex again. Just because you and your ex are not in contact right now, that does not mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world. You should date another girl, or at least go out and have some fun with your friends. It may even work to your advantage for you to cause some jealousy in your ex partner if you really do want to get them back.

4 - Show your ex that you have moved on, but you also need to show her that you still care about her. This is the most ideal way to eventually get her back. Let her know that you have not completely moved on, and that you still have feelings for her, and this will make you appear more mature to her, and more desirable as well.

5 - Finally, it is important that you work hard to become friends with your ex again. This will build trust, and will help to make you closer to one another.

Afterwards, you should ask her why you broke up in the first place, but be casual about it rather than appearing desperate. She will either admit that it was a mistake that the two of you broke up, or she will let you know that the break up was for the better. Once you have an answer, you can proceed from there.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Does your to-do list look something like this:

· Walk dog
· Water plants
· Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

Dont Wait How To Get Over Someone Fast

When a relationship ends, especially if you're not the one who ended it, how to get over someone becomes very important. It’s not always easy to get over a person you’ve been with, though. If you’ve been with that person for a very long time it’s even harder. It might be pretty easy to get over a relationship that’s lasted 3 months. But if you've been with someone for 3 years, it's hard to get over that person at all, let alone get over them quickly. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to speed up the process.

When you're wondering how to get over someone, sit in a chair in your living room or bedroom, wherever there’s a very strong sense of the other person. Remove anything that reminds you of that person a great deal. This isn't always easy to do, but every little bit helps. If you've bought a dog together, for instance, of course you won’t want to get rid of the dog. But anything your ex bought for you that’s on display like a knick-knack or something hanging on the wall would be a good thing to remove for a while.

If you have lots of things that will remind you of your ex, you're probably wondering how to get over someone without making your rooms completely bare. But even if you picked out practically everything together, you don’t have to remove everything to make this work. Just choose items that have particularly strong memories.

Maybe you picked out the couch together, but it's one of the throw pillows that you bought or the figurine on the end table he or she gave you as a gift that seems to make you feel sad when you look at it. Remove those items and store them for a while, just to make things easier on you.

If you’re having a really hard time and feel that you can handle it, you can think of all your ex’s bad qualities. Of all the methods of how to get over someone, this is the one where you actually think of your ex the most, so if just the very thought of them brings you to tears you might not be ready for this step. Think of the things you disliked the most about them. If you can’t thing of anything, just move on. But most of us can come up with a long list of things we dislike about someone, especially if they were the ones to end the relationship.

A popular method of how to get over someone is to simply start dating again. Many people balk at this idea—they think they still love the ex and aren’t ready. You can do this even if you’re still in love with your ex. No one says you have to fall in love anytime soon. But dating or even going out with friends isn’t just how to get over someone, it’s how to keep from feeling sorry for yourself while you try.

Jan 22, 2009

Dealing With Break Up – Causes Break Up Pain

Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.

Relationship breakup puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.

So why is the pain from a lost love break up so difficult? Because when dealing with a break up, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain you’re going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation. Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will not help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on, which will allow you to stop dealing with break up pain and start dealing with moving on and finding someone new, perhaps even someone that has a better dynamic with you.

* Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.

* Don't dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.

Your friends will probably realize that you're going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don't blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain, what you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak.

Save Your Relationship With These 3 Counterintuitive Techniques

Trying to save your relationship can be a very difficult thing to do. There is always the worry that
you'll make one wrong move and lose the person you love forever.

Unfortunately, what feels like the right thing to do, is often wrong. Most times we should
follow the 'counterintuitive path'. When we feel like calling is when we should stay cool
instead. When we feel like pouring our hearts out is when we should put a lid on it.
As a warning, the techniques you're about to discover you may have never seen before and
at first glance may look an feel wrong, but have been proven time and again to be effective
in even what seems the most complicated situations.

Counterintuitive Technique #1

The first technique you need to use is to agree with and accept the fact that your ex has broken up with you. This can be very difficult to do and the chances are good that you will have a bit of an internal battle before you're able to do so.

It can definitely help to understand why you need to accept the breakup, and how it can help you get back together. The main reason is because you need to give your ex time to respect and miss you again. The chances are that they are mad or upset with you at the moment, especially if you've beem nagging them about getting back together.

Counterintuitive Technique #2

The second technique you need to use is to cut off all communication. You're probably about ready to close your browser right now! Hold on, because this technique really does work. It helps you to accept the breakup and is the action that shows your ex you are serious.

By not communicating you are allowing your ex time to miss you and time to get over the reasons for breaking up. This space will be good for your mental health as well, and will help you to think clearly. It also sets you up for the next technique.

Counterintuitive Technique #3

The next step is to plan an event where you two can reconnect. But there are many
critical steps in between you can not leave out!

Jan 21, 2009

How can I Get my Ex Back with a Confident Attitude

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts believe that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"

Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well.

Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light.

Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place. It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Jan 20, 2009

Can I Save My Marriage – Its Up To You

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."

How to Get your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Driving Him Away

Did something go wrong between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and somehow managed to fall off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of where to go from here.

First, you are going to want to ask yourself four vital questions. These are really important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.

- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting?

- Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now?

- Can anything be changed or made different by prevailing in the argument or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on?

- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place?

If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled if a large argument is settled. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing argument are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on.

The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to let go on these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be.

Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation.

Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution.

Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care significantly for.

These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Jan 19, 2009

Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Read 5 Simple Tips

It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:

1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.

Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.

2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.

Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.

3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.

4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.

5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.

Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.

These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?

In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…

First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.

For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?

You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.

There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.

Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them?

Jan 18, 2009

How to Get Back Together with My Ex in 3 Steps

Have you just recently experienced a break up, and you are wondering "how can I get back together with my ex”? You may want to score your ex back immediately, and this is a common feeling that everyone experiences.

You can find yourself following into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. But is this really going to make things better? Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse, chasing your ex away even further.

What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old question "How do I get back together with my ex?"

1 - Accept the Break Up!

First and foremost, you need to accept that the break up is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin/. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by all. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.

2 - Do not contact your ex!

Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

This will allow him or her to think about the relationship and how they feel about its value. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves, that may be the best time to let them realize how important you were to them.

3 - Plan Ahead for the Get Together

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Jan 17, 2009

Advice on Relationships - How to Keep a Woman Happy

Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.

The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.

Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.

This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.

Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.

You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.

The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.

Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.

She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.

You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.

The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.

So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.

You might want to check out "The Magic of Making Up" yourself.

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

The True Magic Of Making Up - How To Get Your Ex Back