Feb 6, 2009

He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive

If you are saying "he dumped me. How will I ever survive?" mere words in an article will not give you comfort. It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.

When you’ve been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear. The fear is real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.

In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again. Your soul mate is out there.

Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving on!